Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Like a rolling stone baby

Ooschie has this new thing where he likes to seize up into a hard little knot and just curl up inside my ribcage. I call him my stone baby when he does this, and sometimes if it's really feeling awkward I try to gently push him back down a bit. This never works.

Stone babies, or lithopedions, fascinate me. Like most prenatal horrors, I learned of their existence shortly after I became pregnant, watching some program on TLC (why are there so many shows about what can go morbidly wrong with a fetus on TLC?). This was when I first realized I had theretofore been completely blind to every single reference to pregnancy and babies that are apparently ubiquitous to pop culture (either that, or everything really is about babies, just all of a sudden). Even this season of Dexter begins with our hero, Dexter Morgan, sleep-deprived to the point of incompetence because of the new baby in his household. Last week's season premiere included a hilarious remix of his morning routine, after new fatherhood:

Note his former hipster kicks have been replaced with a sensible Hush Puppy.

Anyways, in case you're too lazy to read the wiki I linked above, stone babies are a rare phenomena wherein a miscarried fetus is calcified inside the mother's body rather than reabsorbed or aborted by the woman's body. This calcification prevents the dead fetus from becoming infectious to the mother - like some frightening pearl, only fetus-shaped. There's one somewhat famous case of a woman in her 90s delivering a lithopedion that she had carried for 60 years.

Less frightening (in fact, probably a comparative zero on the gross-out scale), Oosch, rapidly running out of stretching room, is now relinquished to sliding his knees, elbows and feet across my abdomen with such fervor that I swear I can see his footprint.

Not my (or any real) belly

Well not quite, but it is quite alien to see tiny appendages poking through my skin (sometimes a half inch out of my body).

What else is new? My linea nigra has started to develop, but so far it's really faint and only above the belly button. So far, my new hypnobirthing class does not seem to be too crystal-woowoo-hippie, which is something of which I had been sort of wary. My pragmatism allows me to keep a sense of humor about plenty of it, but I actually don't find myself rolling my eyes about everything. I guess sometimes keeping an open mind can be helpful.

My diabetes is being so easily controlled by diet that I am still suspicious of a misdiagnosis. So far, the only glucose spikes I'e experienced have resulted from white bread: a hot dog (and bun) on the train last week, and twice from Popeye's biscuits (I was able to deduct that it was the biscuit because I ate the same thing twice - once with and once without the biscuit, and only when I had the biscuit did my blood sugar jump). So no more white bread. Cherry Garcia cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, however, seems to have no effect (I reckon the fat and protein helped slow the absorption of sugar into my bloodstream).

The nursery is seriously almost done - the furniture is being delivered this week and we have only to organize the closet and storage space to start arranging things. The Totoro mural needs only a few details to be complete. Will post photos when that happens.

Now I need to go fix dinner because this tiny golem in my belly is getting restless.


  1. This whole post freaked me out. Now Im going to have bad dreams.Stone babies!

  2. Wow, stone babies, strange world we live in. It's almost time! :) Glad to hear all is working out in the world of glucose.

  3. I too saw the show on TLC about the stone baby. I was totally fascinated and couldn't wait for them to remove it and see what it looked like. Sad, but true.

  4. SO adorable! And as for the baby in the rib cage thing. I found placing an ice pack on top of my belly for a minute made the baby move down some, I felt bad, but the relief was much needed!

  5. What really freaks me out (but simultaneously gives me hope for my own eventual pregnancy) is how tiny your bottom half still is. And your bitty little wrists getting all lost in your bangle bracelet. But the huge baby bump is fucking impressive!

    I would dry hump Dexter sideways. Not the actor (I don't remember his name), because he's just some mediocre looking dude. But Dexter-as-serial-killer is primally hot. I'm still on season 3, because we're too miserly for Showtime, but I already know what's happening in the beginning of season 4 because I'm a freak and read spoilers like it's my job.

    Check this out as a possible baby announcement: http://dexterschangethebaby.com/

  6. Fascinating, all of it. I was kinda sad to read the caption on the baby-foot-thru-bump photo tho, as I wanted it to be real.

    And "I would dry hump Dexter sideways" has made me reconsider watching the show. Saw one episode and went "Bah, the gay brother from 6 Feet Under as a serial killer?" Since a quick search of Hulu had a lot of results this miserly mama may watch some after the toddlers hit the hay tonight. A change from my RDJ/Val Kilmer fixations.

    That's the cool thing about reading a well-written blog: the comments are ofter well-written as well!