Dream a Little Dream

I dreamt about the baby last night, that I was nursing it in the backseat of a car. It wasn't the first time I've dreamed that I had a baby, or even that I'd nursed, but it was the first one since I've been carrying a little blob around in me. In my dream, it just latched right on and went for it, and left me feeling like it would be obvious and natural, and I wondered how women could possibly need to be trained in nursing their babies. But this was just a dream, and I suppose I'll have to be taught how to properly insert the nipple and plug it against the alveolar ridge, just like many American women.

The baby in my dream was a generic Everybaby - big, dark eyes; a soft, round face and silky, brownish hair on its head. It was genderless, as are all babies spare the colors in which they're dressed. It was an amalgam of all of the babies you see on tv or in magazines, and I loved it. I keep having the feeling that I'm carrying a girl, maybe even two of them.

This weekend we're going to visit Ecohaus for green flooring options and no-VOC paints. We need to replace all of the flooring in the upstairs (and repaint) thanks to the complex social lives of cats. Unfortunately, this means spending around $4/sq ft instead of $1/sq ft to get something guilt-free that won't offgas our baby into asthma.

We're going for a Totoro theme for the nursery, and I can't wait to start painting snails, ferns and jack-in-the-pulpits in the forest on the walls. Plus this will fold a most beloved franchise perfectly into all of the Fuzzy Town shit that I've been dying to start collecting (seriously, the baby flying squirrel and owlets make me squee). I heard a horrible, terrible rumor that Fuzzy Town had closed its business, but the website being online is giving me hope. Plus the store that told me that said it was a Japanese company, and this appears to be in Washington.

Feeling fine...a little *too* fine

Something a little new this week (sort of starting over the weekend) is that the nausea has really subsided. Like, I feel totally fine (just always peckish). I was talking to Susan about being queasy all the time, and she said that she had been glad for her nausea during her pregnancy with Sage. The first couple of pregnancies she had didn't take, and the abrupt cessation of her pregnancy symptoms was always followed immediately by spotting and miscarriage. So of course now I'm totally paranoid, though that I'm not spotting probably means it's sticking around. Besides, my mom always said that she was never sick, and something like 20-30% of pregnant women aren't sick in their first trimester. Still, the rates of miscarriage are significantly lower in women who are sick, so I'm a little worried.

I'm feeling kind of silly about how pregnant I look, even though I'm only 8 weeks along. I look at least 4 or 5 months pregnant, thanks to bloating and distention (yay, constipation and gas!). At least now people can tell pretty easily that I'm pregnant, and not just fat.

Hey, has anyone ever tried the BabyPlus system? I'm very curious about it - it sounds like drum and bass for fetuses. I know I'm not going to give birth to a baby fluent in Mandarin by putting headphones on my abdomen, but supposedly this "prenatal education" system is linked with higher rates of alertness, calmness and nursing at birth, plus learning first words at around 6 months instead of 9 months. Though if we go with infant sign language (which I always wanted to try, and of which I have witnessed the amazing efficacy in the Hopester), the kid will hopefully be able to communicate plenty. I'm thinking of picking the BabyPlus anyways, though, since I'm completely nuts about the idea of building a wee Zen genius. Plus, I like the idea of being able to play similar music after the baby is born for a calming effect during fussy times.

Okay, starving now. Strawberries and a cheese stick, coming right up.

Something actually worked

I filled up on cereal, brownies and milk right before bed, and no morning ick. Win! Throat still feels cracky-dry/sore in the morning, but I can live with that.

Saw my coworker/new BFF Becca last night with her newborn Jake. It's funny how when you tell a woman (pregnant or mom) that you're With Child you instantly share a new bond, like war buddies. Brought her some rigatoni with homemade Bolognese (canned from homegrown heirloom tomatoes last summer), a baguette, and some of the brownies. She swapped me some pregnancy books (can't remember the titles but one is a general pregnancy/birth book and the other is something like Raising a Green Baby or sommat). I need to remember to take advantage of offers for loaners and swaps, since pregnancy is fleeting and I really don't need to own every pregnancy book on the market.

Scott is reading The Expectant Father (thanks again for the rec, Natasha!) and really stepping up to the plate. He cleans and offers to fix dinner much more often than he used to. I think he's starting to get it.

Letting go of the notion that I can do everything myself (clean house, gourmet meals, homegrown organic veggies, etc.), plus work full time, plus maintain a blog and social life is taking some work, and some priority shuffling.

It Begins

I'm not quite vomiting, and won't bother pulling the trigger since I know it's not coming from my stomach, but I've begun to experience the joys of progesterone blood poisoning. I feel perpetually hung-over with nowt to do about it but eat pomes (apples and/or pears) and try to stay hydrated. Peppermint tea is nice. Moaning and whining helps a little.

The smell of OPF (other people's food) is so not helping.